ISSUE: CYBER-BULLYING -- Online Assaults

Posted:  9 May 13
Reposted:  9 Aug 14

To see more life-threats and life-tools articles on this blog,
including a separate article on Bullying, in general:

please click here

1.  Purposes

1.1  To help increase awareness of the often hidden, but incredibly destructive mischief surrounding the bullying of users of today's technology.  Practical options are offered at the end of this article.

Especially vulnerable are the young and inexperienced who are exposed to great harm through such easy access into their very SOULS -- the very CENTER of their being -- on which EVERYTHING else depends -- to implant a bitter, scarring, crippling legacy there (often in secret, with no chance for mature intervention and aid). And even age and experience is no guarantee of immunity in the face of deep, unwarranted wounding -- though perspective MIGHT be easier to restore, eventually.

It is obvious that this is an insidious phenomenon.  It wouldn't be a far stretch to imagine that such cruelty may play contributing roles in the tragic school shootings and other revolting spectacles that plague us in these complicated times and subtract so mightily from their promise.  There are forces at work, here, that can surely knock lives off course -- into tragic trajectories.

1.2  To help marshal suitable public responses, which are surely necessary to take sufficient action -- for this criminality amounts to an unfair tax on the use of vital social resources, which many may even be unaware that they are paying -- for we humans are so closely and unavoidably interconnected together in a great chain-reaction.

2.  Discussion

2.1  Do you remember the children's toy, the Jack-in-the-box?  You crank the little handle, music plays "Here we go 'round the Mulberry bush," and suddenly the top door pops open and out springs a clown to startle and delight little eyes, while onlookers all say, "Pop goes the weasel!"

2.2  Now, imagine that instead of a toy clown, out pops something not to delight, but to viciously and deeply wound the victim. That's what cyber-bullying meanly does to the users of the wonderful technologies that are so important to our futures.  We find the invaluable tools, which we carry with us or place in our homes, suddenly spoiled and turned against us -- to "pop open" with nasty surprises -- corrupting the Internet blessing and our rightful enjoyment and uses of it.  It turns it into a thing of dread -- and that shouldn't be.

2.3  Worse, cyber-bullying can and does lead to unimaginable suffering and desperation in children who are attacked in this way -- and who are likely to be ill-equipped to avoid or otherwise control the consequences.  The mentally-troubled get their hands on these tools and meanly use them without any concern (or, perhaps, understanding) for the negative impacts -- doing great damage akin to physical assault (but with its own set of deep, very real, lasting, and painful psychological implications).

2.4  This is fact-of-life stuff.  No matter what good is brought into our world, there's a good chance that someone will place corrupting hands on it.  So, it should be no surprise to us that we must vigilantly and intelligently guard this gateway into the lives of the young and innocent (and the not so young) -- AND KEEP THAT SACRED REALM INVIOLATE.  Closed eyes will do nothing to make this nasty problem go away.

3.  What can be done?

3.1  Understand the problem

• Here is an important 2 May 13 story from ContraCostaTimes.com -- by Jeremy Thomas and Katy Murphy for the Oakland Tribune, entitled "Cyberbullying: Parents, school officials both search for answers."
• Here is a typically thorough Wikipedia discussion of "Cyberbullying."
• Here is a Google search for more information on "Cyberbullying."
• Here is a Google search for more sources of "Cyberbullying news." 

3.2  Survey for Solutions

• The above Contra Costa Times story also provided a link to this very useful MercuryNews.Com article, by Jeremy Thomas and Katy Murphy for the Mercury News, entitled "Cyberbullying tips, resources for parents."
• Here is a thorough treatment of the topic, by StopBullying.gov.  To see related California laws on this site, please click here.
• The Anti-Defamation League website offers resources for schools, administrators, students and families

3.3  Discuss this (with all concerned) 

until no more discussion is needed 

to fully and promptly neutralize 

this horrendous problem 

that sucks so much joy and productivity 

out of modern living -- and constitutes such a serious threat to the well-being of us all.

Hope this helps.

David Nelson




All Original Content © 2013 , The MENTOR Enterprises / ELMS, All Rights Reserved -- BUT, I hereby suspend those rights, to this extent: You may freely copy and pass this along, if you think it will do some good -- as long as it's free of charge, unchanged, and you include this statement.

ISSUE: BULLIES

Posted:  16 Sep 12
Reposted:  8 Aug 14

PURPOSES

Immediate Applicability.
In the Section, "Literature (a Sampling)," at the bottom of this article, is a link-list of good sources concerning some of the available methods for efficiently and effectively dealing with bullies and bullying behavior

Please note the separate article on "Cyber-bullying," on this blog.

Bullying is a serious concern which manifests and contributes to social illness and personal suffering.  To fix society, fix its afflictions, methodically and thoroughly.  This article seeks to help that process with practical steps included at the end.

This article hopes to stimulate and assist thoughtful understanding in order to, perhaps, help us deal with and better handle this natural, but ALWAYS counterproductive, human behavior.

DISCLAIMER

In no way do I claim to be expert in the related professional mental health fields.  This information is intended to BEGIN and develop another public discussion on the nature and behavior of human life, with a view toward helping, in practical ways, to neutralize the hazards and maximize the opportunities.  If you directly sense a serious mental illness of concern, please consult a professional practitioner or a reputable special-purpose organization for guidance.  Perhaps this Google search can help: "How to get help for someone with a mental illness."

RATIONALE

1.  The path from childhood into adulthood should be a joyous and productive adventure.  

• The thrill of learning about the nature and behavior of this world and the people who fill it; 
• where one might fit in and contribute; 
• hopes and dreams about how things could be made better; 
• great fun; 
• how to relate with others, productively -- in good teamwork, leadership, followership, problem-solving, negotiating, friendship, constructive disagreement, and so on; 
• how to think and learn, as a life-long process of enormous power; 
• how to organize information so as to understand, store, and use it; 
• marveling at (and drawing enormous power from) the human spirit, history, achievements and even failures -- all containing vital lessons for a better future; 
•  WHAT'S LEFT TO BE DONE; 
• and so much more -- all part of making this precious life-experience rewarding for oneself, for those who are special to us and, indeed, for the entire human species; 
• fuller understanding that we all NEED one another to survive and prosper -- SEEING THE GREAT TRUTH THAT WE ALL MATTER, BIG-TIME -- as integral, indispensable parts of the single, glorious human chain-reaction that is us.

2.  But the path is also fraught with much danger -- physical and psychological hazards that can damage, spoil, or end the life experience -- untimely and unpleasantly.  Much is unavoidable risk that makes every second and minute priceless.  But, much is avoidable and shameful to accept, unchallenged.

3.  Bullying is a major spoiler of the joys of living -- for young and old -- for individuals and families -- both for the victim and for the bully (who is also a victim of circumstance).  It can occur ANYWHERE that people congregate -- in school, at work, at play, on line, by written or spoken words, on public transit, in chance meetings, unwary selection of dangerous environments, and so on.

4.  This is no trivial threat.  It can and does harm individual futures and lives -- and thus, threatens the entire human species.  Its impact can lead even to suicide or running away; bodily or emotional injury; damaged enthusiasm for education, learning and life itself; dramatically unfavorable changes in life-direction; and so on.  NO CHILD SHOULD BE MADE TO DREAD FELLOW HUMANS (in environments that are clearly supposed to be safe -- and which they cannot avoid entering) NOR BE THROWN OFF THE PATH TOWARD A FULFILLING LIFE.

5.  Dealing, MOST effectively, with this threat is not natural knowledge -- it's too complex -- it is LEARNED strategy and tactics. Much experience has been built-up to provide the knowledge.  It's there for the taking.  Some of it is below.

Save the children!  Help save the future!

DEFINITIONS

Bullying

• Bullying, defined (Google search)
• Cruelty.
• A Bully is a blustering browbeating person; especially : one habitually cruel to others who are weaker
• A person who is habitually cruel or overbearing, especially to smaller or weaker people.
• A hired ruffian; a thug.
• A pimp.
• The behavior which is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Both kids who are bullied and who bully others may have serious, lasting problems. 
• "Bullying is a form of aggressive behavior manifested by the use of force or coercion to affect others, particularly when the behavior is habitual and involves an imbalance of power. It can include verbal harassment, physical assault or coercion and may be directed repeatedly towards particular victims, perhaps on grounds of race, religion, gender, sexuality, or ability.[2][3] The "imbalance of power" may be social power and/or physical power. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a "target"." (Wikipedia article excerpt)

THE LITERATURE (A Sampling)

• Bullying (Google search)
• Bullying (Wikipedia article)
• How to Detect Bullying at School (Google search)
• Bullying (Wikipedia discussion)
• StopBullying.gov
• Violence Prevention Works
• Dealing With Bullying (KidsHealth.org)
• Bullying at School (Education.com)
• Facts for Families: Bullying (American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry)
• Reading list for all sorts of bullying -- Online, in School, in Kindergarten, General, etc.  (American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry)
• Police Information: Bullying (Google search)

• HELP FOR BULLIES (Google search)
• Troubled Children (Google search)

NEW ADDITIONS:

• WORKPLACE Bullying (Workplace Bullying Institute) [Lisa]
• Free "How-To" Manuals (Bullies2Buddies.Com) [Shermin]

Please note:  Right now, this is a basic link-list.  I hope it proves helpful and do intend to refine it. Eventually, it is hoped that a comprehensive analysis of all resources can be conducted so as to distill a clear regimen of those things that are necessary AND sufficient to master the human bullying impulse.

Thanks, for leads, to: Shermin Davis and Lisa McQuail

MORE TO FOLLOW

David Nelson,

Editor

All Original Content © 2012 , The MENTOR Enterprises / ELMS, All Rights Reserved -- BUT, I hereby suspend those rights, to this extent: You may freely copy and pass this along, if you think it will do some good -- as long as it's free of charge, unchanged, and you include this statement.

LIFE-THREAT: ANGER MIS-MANAGEMENT

Posted:  16 Sep 12

1.  PURPOSES

Anger is a major source and cause (or result) of social illness and personal suffering.  To fix society, fix its afflictions, methodically and thoroughly.  This article seeks to help that process.

This article hopes to stimulate and assist thoughtful understanding in order to, perhaps, help us deal with and better handle this natural, but often counterproductive, human behavior.


Immediate Applicability.
In the Section, "Literature (a Sampling)," at the bottom of this article, is a link-list of good sources concerning some of the available methods for efficiently and effectively managing anger.

A DISCLAIMER

In no way do I claim to be expert in the related professional mental health fields.  This information is intended to BEGIN and develop another public discussion on the nature and behavior of human life, with a view toward helping, in practical ways, to neutralize the hazards and maximize the opportunities.  If you directly sense a serious mental illness of concern, please consult a professional practitioner or a reputable special-purpose organization for guidance.  Perhaps this Google search can help: "How to get help for someone with a mental illness."

2.  RATIONALE

1.  Happiness is a great goal and enabler of productive human life -- rather than the alternative, which involves spreading more sorrow. If "knowledge is power," then perhaps more knowledge about the nature of  "anger," and how to manage it, successfully, can help curtail or redirect its harmful potential -- WITH GREAT POWER -- for the good of all.

2.  Like all important things in life, hard experience and systematic thought teach invaluable lessons to the wise.  And there is a huge accumulation of knowledge and strategies built-up to guide the alert among us, concerning frowning acts.

3.  Since so much is at stake, it makes sense to explore this subject, until thoroughly understood and taken seriously by ever-increasing numbers of us.

4.  THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO A COMPREHENSIVE SURVEY OF THE TOPIC OF ANGER -- for severe mental illness or personality disorders could be at work -- the psychopath or sociopath -- perhaps, disguised, submerged, or undetectable at a glance -- until the right stimulus (or, perhaps non-stimulus, but chance) sets them off -- constitutes a special problem (to be dealt with, separately).

5.  This bulletin presumes behaviors under more "normal" and controllable circumstances -- where a "usually-sound mind" does regrettable things.  Although, more severe mental issues are touched upon in the Definitions and Literature sections.

3.  BACKGROUND

1.  So many of our social ills have their roots in anger.  Sudden emotional impulses that overpower reason and cause abnormal and negative actions and reactions, often lead to tragic, avoidable consequences.

2.  And anger often produces many more victims than just those directly involved in a confrontation.  Individual and family lives and futures can be disrupted or destroyed -- especially for those who have special connection to the souls engaged.

3.  Society, in general, can be deprived of vital members, services, and human potential -- through unbridled releases of wild, animal anger.  Economic costs of redressing imbalances and trying to restore productive stability are enormous.  A serious and costly detraction from a sense of well-being is imposed on anyone who is subjected to, witnesses, or learns of yet another senseless act occurring somewhere in their near or remote environments.

4.  Anger can add more fuel to a general sense of futility and disappointment, as to human character and its worrisome unpredictability -- with yet another devastating reminder of personal and social vulnerability to hasty actions that can strike without warning, from often surprising sources -- threatening all and wasting their security-resources.

5.  How many crimes and tragedies and losses of much human potential could be averted, if only the phenomenon of anger was better understood and handled?  A violent action or reaction could be anticipated and neutralized by general and self-knowledge, rather than be unleashed with sudden, painful, and eventually (or instantly) regretted consequences -- often to the complete surprise of both the disturbed souls who act in anger, as well as to innocent victims and witnesses.

6.  Perhaps, even more than the threat of punishment and retribution, self-knowledge and forethought might help prevent momentary satisfaction of wild impulse from creating a lifetime of deep regret and impotent apology -- which may never be heard without suspicion, resentment, and lingering sorrow.

7.  Often, it seems, violent anger is used as a way of proving a sort of manhood or womanhood status, to oneself or to others -- perhaps as a way of establishing a sense of "respect" and avoiding a "loss of face," so as to alter another's future behavior to better advantage.  Sometimes this works, often times it makes things worse.  It can be a terrible gamble on which to stake futures.

8.  Which is why understanding, ahead of time, how to handle such situations, safely and smoothly, is so important in removing anger as an ineffective tool for temporary displays of so-called "maturity," when it so often does exactly the opposite.  

Besides, there tends to be a great deal of admiration, respect, confidence, and advancement for a person who can be relied upon to maintain "cool style," under challenging circumstances.

9.  Barbarism is a legacy of the past and is repeatedly shown to be a poor guarantor of a favorable future.  A new and better "arsenal" is needed to insure a highly-desirable CIVIL existence throughout the land.

4.  DEFINITIONS

Anger

• A strong feeling of displeasure, hostility, belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath; ire.
• A feeling of great annoyance or antagonism as the result of some real or supposed grievance; rage; wrath
• Synonyms: enrage, incense, inflame (also enflame), infuriate, ire, madden, outrage, rankle, rile, roil, steam up, tick off, get one's goat, rub the wrong way
• Antonyms: delight, gratify, please
• Feeling or showing anger or strong resentment (usually followed by at, with,  or about ): to be angry at the dean; to be angry about the snub.
• Expressing, caused by, or characterized by anger;  wrathful: angry words.
• (Of an object or phenomenon) exhibiting a characteristic or creating a mood associated with anger or danger, as by color, sound, force, etc.: an angry sea; the boom of angry guns.

(Encyclopedia of Psychology) 

• Anger is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong. 
• Anger can be a good thing. It can give you a way to express negative feelings, for example, or motivate you to find solutions to problems.
• But excessive anger can cause problems. Increased blood pressure and other physical changes associated with anger make it difficult to think straight and harm your physical and mental health.

Anger Management

• Anger management is a process of learning to recognize signs that you're becoming angry, and taking action to calm down and deal with the situation in a positive way. Anger management doesn't try to keep you from feeling anger or encourage you to hold it in. Anger is a normal, healthy emotion when you know how to express it appropriately. Anger management is about learning how to do this. (Mayo Clinic)
• The ability for a person to control his/her temperament, particularly in stressful situations; to show proper behavior and/or disagree appropriately without losing control of one's emotions.  The rebellious boy's father showed great restraint when he had to deal with his increasingly bad behavior. (Allwords.com)
• The term Anger management commonly refers to a system of psychological therapeutic techniques and exercises by which someone with excessive or uncontrollable anger can control or reduce the triggers, degrees, and effects of an angered emotional state.  One technique for controlling anger is finding agreement with another person rather than a conflict. In some countries, courses in anger management may be mandated by their legal system. (Selfgrowth.com)

Barbarism

• An act, trait, or custom characterized by ignorance or crudity.
• The use of words, forms, or expressions considered incorrect or unacceptable.
• Without civilizing influences; uncivilized; primitive: barbaric invaders.
• A barbarous social or intellectual condition : backwardness.
• The practice or display of barbarian acts, attitudes, or ideas.
• An idea, act, or expression that in form or use offends against contemporary standards of good taste or acceptability.

Innocent

• Uncorrupted by evil, malice, or wrongdoing; sinless: an innocent child.
• Not guilty of a specific crime or offense; legally blameless: was innocent of all charges.
• Within, allowed by, or sanctioned by the law; lawful.
• Not dangerous or harmful; innocuous: an innocent prank.
• Candid; straightforward: a child's innocent stare.
• Not experienced or worldly; naive.
• Betraying or suggesting no deception or guile; artless.
• Not exposed to or familiar with something specified; ignorant: American tourists wholly innocent of French.
• Unaware: She remained innocent of the complications she had caused.
• Lacking, deprived, or devoid of something: a novel, innocent of literary merit.
• 1. A person, especially a child, who is free of evil or sin.
• 2. A simple, guileless, inexperienced, or unsophisticated person.
• 3. A very young child.

Provocation

• The act of provoking.
• Something that incites, instigates, angers, or irritates.
• Criminal Law: words or conduct leading to killing in hot passion and without deliberation.
• Conduct by which one induces another to do a particular deed; the act of inducing rage, anger, or resentment in another person that may cause that person to engage in an illegal act.

Psychosis and Severe Personality Disorder

• Psychosis is a fundamental derangement of the mind (as in schizophrenia) characterized by defective or lost contact with reality especially as evidenced by delusions, hallucinations, and disorganized speech and behavior.
• A psychopath is a person suffering from chronic mental disorder with abnormal or violent social behavior.
• A sociopath is person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience.

Vengeance

• Infliction of punishment in return for a wrong committed; retribution.
• The act of or desire for taking revenge; retributive punishment
• The act of taking revenge (harming someone in retaliation for something harmful that they have done [OR ARE THOUGHT TO HAVE DONE]); "Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord"--Romans 12:19; "For vengeance I would do nothing. This nation is too great to look for mere revenge"--James Garfield; "he swore vengeance on the man who betrayed him"; "the swiftness of divine retribution"

Victim

• One that is acted on and usually adversely affected by a force or agent <the schools are victims of the social system>: as
• (1) : one that is injured, destroyed, or sacrificed under any of various conditions <a victim of cancer> <a victim of the auto crash> <a murder victim> , etc.
• (2) : one that is subjected to oppression, hardship, or mistreatment <a frequent victim of political attacks>
• One that is tricked or duped <a con man's victim>

Wrath

• Strong vengeful anger or indignation
• Retributory punishment for an offense or a crime : divine chastisement
• Punishment or vengeance as a manifestation of anger.
• angry, violent, or stern indignation

5.  The Literature (A Sampling)

American Psychological Association - Anger
Anger (Google search)
Anger Management (Google search)
Anger Management (In-depth Wikipedia Article)
AngerManagementTips.Com
Answers.Com
SelfGrowth.Com

Special Cases -- Psychopath and Sociopath

Psychosis in General (Wikipedia discussion)

Sociopath in General (Google search)
Antisocial Personality Disorder (Wikipedia discussion)

The difference between a psychopath and a sociopath (Wisegeek.com)

Dealing with a psychopath (Google search)

Are there psychological tactics for dealing with a psychopath? (Lovepath.com)

Dealing with a sociopath (Google search)

Please note:  Right now, this is a basic link-list.  I hope it proves helpful and do intend to refine it. Eventually, it is hoped that a comprehensive analysis of all resources can be conducted so as to distill a clear regimen of those things that are necessary AND sufficient to master the human anger impulse.

MORE TO FOLLOW

David Nelson,

Editor

All Original Content © 2012 , The MENTOR Enterprises / ELMS, All Rights Reserved -- BUT, I hereby suspend those rights, to this extent: You may freely copy and pass this along, if you think it will do some good -- as long as it's free of charge, unchanged, and you include this statement.